After careful research and excruciating literature reviews, I have come up with 20 things more interesting than international football and the break from Arsenal it forces us into.

Behold!

1. Cotton.
2. Watching video game playthroughs on YouTube.
3. Lindsay Tanner.
4. Ladysmith, South Africa.
5. Debit columns.
6. Desks made of chipboard and/or plywood.
7. Space Odyssey 2001’s out-takes
8. Trachea
9. Those swimming cell-like spidery patterns you see on your eyeballs when looking up at the sky.
10. Journalists who say “aren’t you ashamed of yourself?” to people on the street.
11. La Toya Jackson music videos.
12. Insurance policy
13. Eboue to Barca rumours
14. The little kid and witch from “Passions”
15. The interior of the Sydney Opera House.
16. Andre Rieu
17. Hippity-hoppity young scallywags who play their iPods at blistering volume so that everyone can here how the rapper did yo mama.
18. CSI Miami
19. Street salesman telling you how ‘awesome’ you’ll feel for donating to some village in Africa.
20. Facebook updates that say “boy, long day at the office! Glad to be home now.”

It’s a pretty sad state of affairs, this international break is. It makes blogging more difficult than digesting pot plants, but in the interests of keeping content on the site, I have little choice but to write sensationalised rubbish that makes me look remotely in-the-know. I can tell you, Andre Rieu is definitively a blight on classical music. I know of what I speak.

Anyways, I’ll take this time of not-much-happening to spruik a good mate’s excellent up-and-coming blog: from the brains behind ArsenalFCBlog comes a terrific little project by Andy Weber called Football Nomad – it’s a fantastic project that will really come to the fore if football fans from around the world make a contribution, so log on, take a look, and support a really promising project.

And with that, I’m off up the coast in No-Internet Land to celebrate the Old Man’s birthday – which means the embryonic Friday Video will be delayed until next week due to severe time constraints. The blog itself should be back Sunday.

In the meantime, do your best to stay remotely sane in this football-starved fortnight. Great Scot!

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