Perhaps I’m getting all Colonel SS Hans Landa on you, here, but allow me this simple analogy. Arsenal’s season seems to have been directed by the all powerful God of Cockroaches. You can lob grenades at us, you can declare nuclear war, you can bring down the Iron Curtain on our hopes and dreams, but Arsenal’s grubs will keep on prevailing.

The cockroaches scurry to Old Trafford in August. Through their sheer numbers, they disgust the Manchester girls into squealing about the place. One pint-sized Russian cockroach gets half-stepped on by a Scottish lump, who for labeling’s sake, we’ll call Darren Fletcher.

Yet still this marvel of animalia blasts a shot at girly-girl Ben Foster, who cannot find the tissues in time to pick the ball out of the net. Oily wings flutter, Manchester goes silent, and the pest inspectors are called in.

They resort to drugging one of the more maligned members of the cockroach brigade, who goes by the name of Abou. Poor Abou starts running in circles, and can’t remember which way he’s supposed to head the ball.

Meanwhile, Microwave Wayne does a cruel experiement to the rare albino cockroach, Almunia Manuelus, slicing him up and sending him every which way.

Yet the cockroaches lived on.

November comes. Winter sets in. While mere humans fester in their caves, huddling for warmth, the Arsenal scrape a minimalist existence. Infuriated by the infestation in the town’s north, a band of mercenaries head up from West London to put an end to our invertabrate ways.

Will our children ever forgive us? General Ancelotti makes the big decision that could alter living conditions in London for 60 years: He drops the Drogba on the Emirates.

Desolation. Title-chase? Long gone. Surely now, Arsenal Stadium lies in ruins?

A scratching is heard. On an outcropping of rubble, a small feeler emerges. Then another, then one more. Slowly, the insects emerge again, emitting a faint green glow. If anything, the cockroaches seem better than ever.

Even nuclear fallout could not stop them. From December to January, Arsenal lay waste to all and sundry, and have the choicest bits of breadcrumbs to choose from.

But one day, the cockroaches decide that they’re bored of the all the white bread on offer, and look to Birmingham’s horizon for some softer sour dough. The Villans get word, and man the barracades. Despite their best efforts, Arsenal fail to make the breakthrough, and are held at bay by Aston Villa.

Behind the scenes, the pest shop boys are called into action again.

Again, Wayne brings his trusty microwave and gives the cockroaches a deep, long fry. General Ancelotti drops the Drogba on his own Bridge (such is the levels of desperation), and yet, for all that, Arsenal return unscathed **.

Even some emotionally-unbalanced kid from the north tried to snap off the legs of one cockroach. But if anything, that just made the cockroaches angrier.

Now on a winning streak of five league games, the Arsenal brood is swarming over hapless opponents who can do little more than sit back, man the barricades and stomp, stomp, stomp.

This run of fine form has seen the rapid evolution of individual cockroaches. Shorn of “spinal” players like Fabregas, van Persie, Gallas and Alex Song, the Arsenal swarm has embraced invertebratehood, scraped for its existence and accumulated the three-pointers when it mattered most.

While everybody’s darlings, the Mancs and Chavs of the world, occupy their minds by thinking like hawks (they look in the barn, in the attic, in the cellar…everywhere they would think to hide), but the rats of this world (and by rats, I mean Arsenal cockroaches, not David Bentley) continue to damn well hang in there.

The pint-sized Russian cockroach, still smarting from being stepped on by some Scottish lump, has found slippery ways to weave between stomping defenders. The once-drugged Abou has come out of his stupour and finally knows which way to run.

And out of the ashes, a new frontman has emerged – Nicklas Bendtner. The Great Dane. Surely the Cockiest of them all?

**One cockroach, Denilson, has admittedly not quite been himself since the microwave incident.

Nicklas Bendtner broke Hull hearts (and left us all laughing as a result) as Arsenal waited until the grim end to keep us in the title race and send a despicable team closer to relegation.

The Tigers did well enough today to get a draw against the Arsenal, but as things are, the Gunners fought tooth and nail to snatch a 2-1 win in a difficult encounter that in another season would be two dropped points. We are still in the hunt.

If the first ten minutes were anything to go by, Arsenal were going to run away with this one, as our dominance in possession saw Bendtner feed Arshavin on the left. The little Russian dinked the ball past Mendy on his right, which curled left, to be latched on from Arshavin, who ran left around Mendy, who then dispatched it past poor Boaz Myhill.

Such was the Bergkampy nature of the goal, I was inspired to draw a diagramatic sketch of the little Russian’s goal. I think it’s very accurate and lifelike.

All was not roses and pancakes though, as American tyro Altidore was giving Sagna hell with his burly physique and very, very quick pace. And no sooner had he announced his intent when a Hull midfielder chipped the ball over the defence to find an offside Vennegoor of Hesselink (whose curvy shirt name is hilarious), who had Sol Campbell bumble his way into his back.

Never a penalty as it was offside, but it was more the linesman’s fault than the referee’s. At this point, we’re all spitting chips, but Bullard plants a solid kick past Almunia, who dived the right way but beaten. And no, I won’t be drawing a sketch of that.

Now, I have to spare a moment for Hull’s stupid excuse for a captain, Boateng. A man who spouts off cliched opinion on Sky Sports when injured, here’s a man who can actually look a camera in the eye when off the field, and then try and pry another player’s very eyes out of their sockets. His eye-gouge on Bendtner would have made a South African rugby player blush and while it’s difficult for the ref to spot when looking elsewhere (credit to the linesman, this time), it remains a shameful, shameful piece of play. He was rightly sent off after another foul, and Hull were down to ten men.

Half time came and went, Bullard shot over in the second half, and Hull were looking difficult to break down and dangerous on the attack when Altidore had the ball.

Then Walcott came on, and Hull’s threat, at least, was totally nullified. Theo’s pace meant everyone sat back, and from then on it was all Arsenal.

It was a frustrating time of try, try again, but eventually Denilson smacked a shot at Myhill, who amateurishly palmed it straight back at Bendtner, who kept his cool to hit a last-ditch winner.

A win is a win, and we remain firmly in the mix for a big fat trophy.

Almunia – 7: Is finding form at the right time and becoming more solid like he was in 2007. Came to corners and collected crosses well – did the simple things, which is instilling a modicum of confidence in the defensive line. Nearly got to Bullard’s penalty – one day he’ll save one.
Sagna – 6.5: Seemed a little lost when on the attack while Eboue was on the pitch and Altidore gave him some strife. But shut up shop when Hull had Walcott to worry about.
Campbell – 7: More bad luck than judgement when he ‘fouled’ V of H; his momentum carrying him into the offside striker. Crunching tackle on a Hull player showing perfect timing and eyes for the ball. A solid stop-gap acquisition, and I’m overjoyed to see him back at the club.
Vermaelen – 7: Got forward to assist Denilson at times and defended to his usual standard. Demonstrated a good passing game.
Clichy – 7.5: Has scratched his way back into form. His biggest asset in my mind is his anticipation and pace to intercept passes on his flank. It sets up threatening counters every time, and he’s been doing that a lot lately. He seems like a guy aware of when he’s playing badly, and he’s bucked up his ideas. Full credit to him.
Denilson – 7.5: The regular rubbishers of the young Brazilian may baulk at this, especially considering a number of passes that he gave to the opposition. To which I respond: the number one rule when you lose the ball is to damn well get it back. He did that nearly every time, hassling Hull’s midfield and back line to force possession back. His passing improved late on into the match. Has done his job in Song’s absence.
Nasri – 6: Obviously needs more regular matches with the Cesc-role than what he’s going to get. Never hit the heights he did against Porto, but you know he can be dangerous, even on a bad day. Couldn’t forge anything out of this match and his ideas were read well by the opposition.
Diaby – 7: Physical presence an asset. After feeling his way into the game, started drifting through Hull’s midfield with ease and passed the ball well. One of the most improved players so far this season, but the team needs to figure out a tactic that allows lay-offs for him to shoot from range more.
Eboue – 6: Never got going and Hull had his measure every time. Never faulted for effort, but his application lead to nothing. Replaced by Walcott on 66 minutes.
Arshavin – 8: Scored one of his best goals this season and I’ve still yet to figure how he did it. Kept probing at Hull relentlessly and looks dangerous everytime he runs directly at the angle. Good showing, and he’s chosen this third of the season to start hitting form. Very welcome.
Bendtner – 7.5: How we could have used him when van Persie limped out in October. Holds the line so, so well and gives us consistent shape on the attack. Is getting better at heading out corners from defence too. Has a lot to work on, like bloody-well shooting on sight, but scored a clutch goal (to use an American term), and we’re still in the race thanks to him.
SUBS: Walcott – 7.5: No coincidence that Hull’s most dangerous attacks stopped when Theo came on. His attacks forced the Tigers back and he made some telling cuts into the home-side’s box. Should already have 10 assists this season if the team could just learn to shoot on the first touch.
Eduardo – 6: Came on as Wenger started to throw his dice late on. Didn’t really do that much while he was on, from what I could see.

We’ve won a match that we should have drawn, and that shows there is still a lot left in the ‘Character cabinet’ of this side. Hull have drawn with Chelsea and beaten Man City at home, and we’ve come and beaten a team unbeaten at the KC for a few months. Top marks.

Detractors will say ‘lucky win’, but we were the better side by a margin, despite missing almost a full legion of players. Having said that, we could clearly do with Fabregas’ return, as Nasri, while gifted, hasn’t got a lot of time to rehearse properly for playmaker.

Song’s return will strengthen us considerably, but credit must go to the derided Denilson, whose passing game wasn’t quite right today, but his attitude certainly was. If you lose the ball, get it back. Denilson lost the ball, and like a terrier he yapped straight at their heels and returned possession to his team-mates.

He also showed the value of getting a solid shot away from distance. It should have been comfortably saved by Big Bumbling Boaz, but Badass B52 Bendtner was on hand to slot home and round off a terrible alliteration from yours truly. You make your own luck, and Denilson made that happen.

Diaby could do well to learn from that, as he and van Persie have the best shots from distance in this squad, I reckon. If the team can learn to set him up like Liverpool do to Gerrard, we might have a new goal outlet. Who knows.

Finally, Arshavin has hit form at the right time. I can’t recall which blog I read it in, but if van Persie got us through the first third of the season and Cesc the second, Arshavin could well be the one to carry us over the line. He’s been quiet of late, but his last two matches have been the real deal.

A good win, and a new hobbie for Jammathon, as he thinks of new things to sketch.

How about you sketch me a comment on what you thought of the match? For the silent readers of the blog, I’d love it for you to introduce yourselves to our more vocal readers and join in the fun. Until next time, 3rdGentlemen.

On that fateful day, February 23, a mentally battered Arsenal succumbed late-on to draw 2-2 away at Birmingham. We followed this up with a 1-1 draw at Aston Villa, at home, then after our AC Milan heroics, drew 0-0 with Wigan away, 1-1 with Boro at home, and eventually 1-1 against Liverpool at home.

Compare those run of fixtures (which also had a loss at Chelsea and a win at Bolton), with the ones we have coming up.

The trips to Wigan and Birmingham are coming soon, just as they were in 2008. For Boro at home, sub in Wolves in April. For Aston Villa’s trip to the Emirates, in come West Ham instead. A stern trip to Bolton two years ago can be seen as ferocious decider at White Hart Lane. Or perhaps, even tonight’s game at KC Stadium, against Hull.

A bit of poetic licence used here and there, but hopefully you get the picture. It’s all to reiterate that no fixture in the league is ever easy. Alex Ferguson will make sure to remind us when the mind-games come thick and fast. It’s better to just already think that, and pump up the determination factor.

We’re short of a number of players tonight, with Cesc and Gallas still out, plus Rosicky, Campbell, Sagna suffering niggles. Song sits out with the last game of suspension, too.

If anything, this should hopefully ensure against any complacency – we’re without some of our leading lights, so it’s time to roll up the sleeves, get in there and do the business. If Arshavin plays half as well as he did against Porto, Hull will be weeping, and young Theo must keep mixing it up as he was trying to do mid-week.

Bendtner does not necessarily have to keep his scoring streak going (though it would be nice!) but if he holds the line as well as he has for the past few, we’re in with a shout. Nasri will do the playmaker thing, Diaby box-to-box, and Denilson better have his running shoes on, as there’s ground to cover.

I have full confidence in the improving Clichy and Almunia as well as an in-form Eboue, and Silvestre is a good centreback when used sparingly, as he has been over the course of the season. He should deputise alongside the always-awesome Vermaelen.

So as I said earlier in the piece, history shows that we can really screw up ‘easy’ fixtures. At the business end of the season, there is no such thing, and despite the handbags they’ve been flailing near little old ladies, Hull will be up for this relegation scrap.

Let’s get more of those early goals, force them to come at us, and pepper old Boaz with lots of shots on the counter.

It’s all about efficiency and getting the job done. Are our boys up for it?

So said Jack Torrence to Lloyd the Bartender in The Shining. And so say I to you, my awesome readers, after a long, long absence from writing on Arsenal. Today, I’ve drummed up a very long, but sectioned, biographical account of my watching Arsenal, in Australia (hence the early hours), since my last article.

For your convenience, you can jump to whatever section you’re most interested in – or just read the whole thing. Enjoy!

Out of the Cup
Villans distract to draw
Denilson destroys the faith
Addicted to losing: the Chelsea debacle
Diaa-by!
Porto disastrous, Sunderland adequate
Stoke Part 1: The Ramsey incident
Stoke Part 2: A win of champions
Bendtner’s Burnley Blushes
Porto destroyed
How difficult is our run-in?

Out of the Cup

Wenger’s tossed the Cup, we hear. Sent out his kids, he’s lost the plot, lost the cup, lost all that’s valuable to the fans. Winning breeds winners, they say. Keep the momentum, play the first team.

Of course, everyone conveniently forgets that the first team have struggled at Brittania, so the result may have just been the same (evidence proved by our conceding an early goal in the Ramsey-Shawcross match). More to the point, we had Big-British Sol Campbell in the defence, and even he struggled against the Delap Special.

It was also patently obvious to those following our twisting, turning league campaign that, of all prizes, the most difficult of them was the most attainable. The league remained the focus, and from a personal note, I got over this loss pretty quickly.

Villans distract to draw

The start of the Fixtures from Hell – and a largely uneventful first half passes me by. At half time, I jet off to work, where’re I’m cooped up on the regs desk, away from any televisions. The only one I can see, from an angle, is showing Citeh vs the Mancs.

Frustrating time. Every now and then, I hear the Villa-supporter at work shout and groan, but it’s Arsenal who hit the post twice, so text updates tell me. Have to put up with the smugness of Man Utd supporters who blast Tevez for leaving the club. Go figure.

Denilson destroys the faith

Up the coast with family, and preparing to watch football with my Man U-supporting uncle, Tony. Tony taught me much of what I know about football – everything apart from ‘the Arsenal thing’, which I picked up myself. One of the few I will listen to, as he’s your typical Australian baby boomer who won’t touch internet news, apart from the racing form. As a result, he doesn’t fall into the media’s football hype, and makes his judgement solely on what he sees, based on experience of watching/listening to football since the 1950s, with a sprinkling of Manc bias.

In short, Tony rates Arsenal’s chances. We both think Ancelotti is an overrated manager and he says Arsenal are the biggest threat to his side this season. It’s very satisfying to find a bastion of sanity in a Manc’s body.

But that doesn’t make me any happier when the defence lets Nani squeeze through to lob Almunia, and I’m practically livid when Denilson refuses to follow Rooney’s run. Before Rooney’s made it anywhere near our box, I’m already screaming “follow that bastard!”. No luck. Denilson can’t hear me from London. We’re down and out, and it’s not even half time.

Park makes it 3-0. By now I’m brooding in the corner, letting Tony celebrate – how can you argue? We’re piss poor, a total shambles compared to the awesome team of character we saw not two weeks ago at Bolton. Vermaelen scores a consolation goal – if anything, at least he deserved it – but 3-1 flatters the losing hosts.

Addicted to losing: the Chelsea debacle

Somehow, the Man U loss puts things in a new light. We were supposed to win that one after they fluked a win at Old Trafford in August. Instead, all our frailties are seemingly laid bare, all that faith put in Denilson by the manager looks delusional, all our effort this season is going up in smoke.

I know we are going to lose to Chelsea. I do not expect a win in a million years. Not in the reverse-jinx-I’m-a-believer-Nick-Hornby way. Arsenal will not beat Chelsea. Period.

Yet still I get up at a ghastly hour. Still I put on the kettle, knowing what’s coming. The script is written. Drogba will eat us for breakfast again.

And from predicting it all, there’s a grim, grim satisfaction out of watching us lose. I’ve never felt that before. I feel disgusted with myself, yet vindicated, yet sick, yet turned on. Maybe this is how Myles Palmer lives with himself. It’s not a way I’d want to live.

Send a text message to my Liverpool-supporting mate. Tell him to play us on the break, give our fullbacks hell and treat conceded corners like goal kicks.

Diaa-by!

If only Liverpool had taken my advice. Without Torres (injury) or Gerrard (form), they’re nothing. Arsenal put more effort in than usual. Diaby and Gallas are immense – the latter pulling off a superb last ditch tackle on N’Gog. Cesc shoots at Reina, Rosicky’s fed through but fluffs his lines – one of those days?

Not at all. Rosicky scuttles down the right flank before hitting a brilliant cross for Diaby to head in. I jump out of my chair, arms raised, screaming! YESSSSSSS!!!

It’s not the neighbours who are startled. It’s all my work colleagues, more used to the mundane of rugby league, Aussie Rules, or cricket – who bump coffee off of desks, stop what they’re doing, and scornfully check to see me resume my seat.

Guilty satisfaction remains the best kind.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Porto disastrous, Sunderland adequate

Oh my days. Long have I had a Denilson-moment in my faith in Fabianski. When Arsenal signed the kid, he came with plenty of youtube videos showing some out-of-this-world saves pulled off in the Polish leagues.

We’ve never seen anything close to that since he’s been at Arsenal, and with the rise of Wojciech Szczesny, there may not be a future for him, sadly. A poor, poor, poor handling of a tame Porto cross from the right, fumbled into his own goal, before a disastrous mix-up with Campbell to handle the ball from a backpass. What’s worse? Turning your back to the ball – we all know what happened.

On the bright side, something genuinely stirred inside of me when Campbell headed in our away goal. Watching the big man celebrate is watching someone who genuinely loves the club. Yes, he used to be Spurs’ captain. Yes, he left us on the ropes when he buggered off to Belgium, but now his head seems concerned only with ending Arsenal’s season on a high. Good to have you back, Sol.

The Sunderland game was far more sedate than the Porto anger – Eboue showed some tremendous skill to dominate Sunderland, feeding Bendtner for an easy finish. It was heart-in-mouth stuff for most of the match with our inability to put the game to bed. But we got there in the end, with only our second penalty of the entire season (yes, they’re all out to get us!) scored by Captain Fabtastic.

Stoke Part 1: The Ramsey Incident

Arsenal are going to win the league. And they are going to win it for Aaron Ramsey.

Ryan Shawcross, bless his good nature, jumps into a 50:50 challenge with the young Welshman. Ramsey goes down. The cameras pan to the ref, who is surrounded by visibly distraught Arsenal players – Fabregas is furious, Vermaelen’s head is in his hands, and only one thing comes to mind: Eduardo. All over again.

Yes, Shawcross was going for the ball. But it was easy to see it was always going to be close, so why lunge for it like you’re going to smack that ball out of the stadium? Shawcross got nothing of the ball, and everything of Ramsey’s hard work this season. A young player goes off, an English player turns on the tears when he knows the cameras will be on him after the red, and you know the rest.

I’ll take this moment to wish Ramsey all the best in his recovery, a warning for Shawcross that when (not if) something like this happens again we’ll be all over him for it, and a mighty salute to the Arsenal bloggers who outdid themselves in churning up all the details of this dirty player’s career.

Stoke Part 2: A win of champions

Meanwhile, there was a tough fixture centred on the emotional whirlwind. Arsenal’s first team, this time, succumbed to another bombing throwin which Danny Pugh finished with ease. But where most would have written us off, Cesc Fabregas, the gladiator he is, stepped up to the plate.

In came a delightful cross for Nicklas Bendtner to finish – not at all easy – and we were level. After a 10-minute period after Ramsey’s injury, Arsenal grabbed the game by the scruff of the neck. Stoke were never in it. Yet it took us until the 90th minute to force a penalty (2 in 2 games!), which Fabregas, visibly emotional, stepped up to finish. The world’s best young midfielder then ran onto Rosicky’s parried shot to feed Vermaelen, who scored his EIGHTH goal of the season. Watching him and Sol Campbell celebrate was easily one of the moments of our season.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Bendtner’s Burnley blushes

“One Aaron Ramsey” read RedAction’s huge banner, telling all who watched that this was the new impetus behind Arsenal’s season. Arsenal’s intent was clear early on, but our big Danish striker simply couldn’t hit the target, missing two workable chances to put the home side in front.

It was Samir Nasri’s job to hit a lovely lob to Cesc Fabregas, who nutmegged the keeper to get the ball rolling. Yet Bendtner continued to exasperate, with chance after chance after chance falling his way to finish off the game.

It was a study in Newtonian physics: for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. For all Bendtner’s glorious inability to finish, Burnley would counter it with one chance, one goal. A big header sliced Silvestre and Vermaelen apart, and Nugent dinked it over a stranded Almunia. 1-1.

But one man – yet another under amazing pressure from all and sundry – put up his hand to be counted. Little Theo Walcott zipped up the right wing, cut back in (something he must do more often) and unleashed a daisy cutter into the net. Cue pandemonium, cue vindication, cue Theo! Theo! Theo!

Bendtner was taken off after another miss, but the crowd gave him a better send-off than I unwisely would have. How wise that send-off proved to be against Porto. Arshavin danced his way from the right wing into Burnley’s box, and smashed the third goal beyond Jensen with ferocious venom.

Porto destroyed

Late night at the ABC again – the graveyard shift has major plusses and drawbacks – a good dose of responsibility in keeping the website running into the wee hours of the night, but a killer on the social life. It’s the trade-off in journalism, but there’re not that many who will put their health on the line to follow it up with football.

Get home at 1:30am. Straight to bed. Alarm is set for 5:30am, just before kickoff time. Of course, walking home in the dead of night is enough to keep the blood pumping, but pesky fruitbats swooping at you all the way keeps the heart rate up. Toss and turn for half an hour before dozing off.

Alarm sounds, throw phone across the room for the sake of the missus, slink out into the lounge. TV on, kettle on, Arsenal-mode totally on. Huge match – thoughts of PSV a couple of seasons ago keep swimming in my mind, coupled with Porto drawing 2-2 at Old Trafford last year.

Scramble in the box, Arshavin seems to have lost it – Bendtner! YEEEEEEEEEESSS!!!! Neighbours all having heart-attacks like pedestrians besieged by bats! Get in there, B52! Crowd appreciative, but game far from over. One away goal can cock it all up.

Brother stumbles out of his room, clearly not meaning to be up this early. Grumpily starts making coffee. Tells me to stop screaming, gets a reply that clearly doesn’t satisfy him. Three minutes later, screams again as Arshavin lays waste to Fucile and feeds Bendtner’s second. YEEESSSSS!!!!!

Half time. Brother reckons I should go to hell. SBS pundits reckon I should go back to bed. Extreme fatigue makes me momentarily agree, then remember we’re still an away goal from extra time.

Must have dozed off, as Nasri scores a goal I’d struggle to on a playstation. Unbelievable dinking, dribbling, finishing. What a goal. Ballistic skill. Arshavin continues his rampant display by feeding Eboue brilliantly who finishes with goofy style for 4-0. There’s a strange satisfaction out of seeing him score.

Eboue makes a run, gets fouled by the sick-of-life Fucile. Bendtner steps up and scores. Hattrick. More strange satisfaction. It’s great when players respond to over-the-top criticism.

Great win. Pundits are lapping up Bendtner – careful now! It’s a message sent to the big guns, alright. But as always, it remains one game at a time.

Click here to view the embedded video.

How difficult is our run-in?

Hull away, West Ham at home. Birmingham away, Wolves at home. Tottenham and Wigan away, Man City at home. Blackburn away, Fulham at home.

That is a difficult run-in. The only way Arsenal can afford to look at that run of games is “major challenge.” In fact, the only one I see as remotely easy is the very last one – Fulham at home. If that game is going to count, we’d have to still be in the thick of a title race, in which case, rhythm and momentum should carry us over the line.

But Hull, Birmingham, Wigan and Blackburn will scrap for their lives at their place. Hull is one of those games where they are a pretty poor side, but football logic dictates they’ll make it tight. Birmingham have impressed quite a few this year and find themselves in eighth place, and Wigan will be technically efficient and hard-workers as ever. Blackburn we know all about with their Walrus manager.

Tottenham away could be the most daunting North London Derby in living memory. I put them as favourites for that fourth place (happy times, Spurs. Whether you’ll even make it past the qualifying phase is another worry), but to secure that, they’ll need at least a point against us. Perhaps three. It will be blood and thunder, and one with an awful, awful amount to lose.

Similarly, West Ham cannot be written off, even at the Emirates. The big game comes in the form of Manchester City. At this point, I’m actually feeling positive about that game. I think their style of play could fall right into our favour. But they remain a danger because of the calibre of players they have at their disposal. Perhaps not so much with their manager or team-bond, but talent will always remain as talent.

If we do go on and somehow win this league, it will have been by no means easy. We will have beaten the smaller teams (something essential to winning, which we’ve been told every season prior, but conveniently forgotten this year), and shown more consistency than our much-fancied rivals.

But it can only be done one game at a time. What a fascinating season we have left.

Come on, Arsenal!!!

Be sure to let me know your ‘journey’ so far this season, in what has been an absolute roller-coaster ride, in the comments. Be cool! Do it!

In short, it’s been a time where I’ve been swamped by work and other commitments to leave me completely unable to find the time or summon up the energy to blog. It’s hard enough getting up at absurd hours to watch Arsenal (and I haven’t missed a single match), but to then find the time to write about it is a skill I have to give Andy from ArsenalFCBlog full credit for – it ain’t easy.

But that’s just excuse making. Those with any backbone would ask what am I going to do about it? In short, Third-Gen will, for the umpteenth time, have to reinvent itself and provide something shorter, sweeter, and more to the point than it has before.

I seriously, seriously love The Arsenal, as much as the next Gooner. I would hope this blog’s inactivity wouldn’t cast that in doubt – there’re far more fans who watch, rather than write, afterall.

So what changes can you expect? Simply put, the blog seems better designed for regular posting, but not frequent posting. Three times a week, rather than once a day.

I very much feel that nothing must be changed with regards to Third-Gen’s match reports, as to me the effort put into them was obvious enough, and many readers shared their appreciation.

Guest blogs will continue to fill the void, and articles inbetween match days will be more succinct opinion on concerns surrounding Arsenal.

Goals and assists will remain on the page (and will be updated soon), as will the Hype Metre. But there will be a simplification of other odds and sods that will streamline the clutter (or the ‘lived-in look’, as some have called it) and make my job a little bit easier.

A huge apology for my absence. What is more than handy compensation is that this season, for Arsenal, has been anything but boring. And you can expect an article tomorrow on the story of 2010, from my biographical perspective.

Finally, many thanks to the likes of SKAGooner, Jamie Sanderson and Martin Cafferty who have regularly checked up on where the hell I am and for just being champions in general.

Now it’s my turn to win back your favour.

PS: Nasri rules.

If you were realistic before going into this game, you knew that there was pretty much only one likely result yesterday, and it wasn’t in favour of Arsenal.

Arsenal succumed to a physically imposing Stoke City who sensed a chance for an ‘upset’ and duly took it. Arsenal did not cover themselves in glory at all – all three of their goals, from the highlights I’ve seen, looked defendable – but with an average age of 2 years and 9 months spread across the squad, you get what you pay for.

I know there will be some mightily pissed at this result, seeing the cup as a definite target the club could win, and certainly an easier one than the Premiership or Champions League.

But Wenger simply could never win this argument. And given what we have ahead of us, I think, he did the right thing. He sent in players he genuinely believes in, but they just could not deliver the goods.

We can go on about who’s not good enough to wear the shirt – Vela, I’m looking at you – but it’s worth considering that Liverpool and Manchester United went out to rubbish sides with their first choice line-ups.

Arseblogger makes the point that it’s down to the side to put this result well behind them in time for our trip to Villa Park. A repeat of the hangover after our 4-0 pasting at Old Trafford in 2008 will not do at all.

Discussions must remain solely on that game. With our league form, we can win it. Perhaps, in a bizzare way, it’s more winnable than the FA Cup, given how many easy fixtures the bankrolled likes of Chelea and Man City are handed.

We have a mountain to climb, and the FA Cup is a distraction now put aside for this season.

One day we will have a squad capable of taking on multiple campaigns, where the FA Cup can be given its proper dues.

But when running on tight resources, you prioritise. It’s a new, harsh reality of modern football.

Thoughts on the upcoming fixtures, and perenial underperformers Vela and Theo Walcott, tomorrow.

But feel free to leave your opinions in the comments.

Given our well-documented Satan’s Run of Fixtures coming up, we all know the need to rotate the side going into our away match against Stoke.

No-one, of course, rotates a side quite like Arsenal do. We should be seeing something very close to a Carling Cup side tonight, with many youngsters making the starting line-up, as well as the return of a prodigal old head.

Sol Campbell, fitness permitting, should make his ’second debut’ for Arsenal after leaving the club in controversial circumstances three years ago. He returns with something to prove and also something to be thankful for – and hopefully we see a rejuvenated, if somewhat wider, Campbell today.

We’ll need him and Silvestre up for this one, as Stoke will come with their physical approach and while our tid-bit first teamers have improved no end in giving a bit back to the thugs of the game, our younger, even tid-bittier players have a lot to learn in that department.

Big boys like Jay Emmanuel-Thomas will have to impose themselves, but ultimately they will only have a hope of winning a tough fixture by playing the game they know best.

Stoke are favourites on their own ground, and by all rights not many will seriously expect us to come away with something here. But talk of throwing the game is simply not fair to the manager, who is caught in a no-win situation of priotising the league over a cup that is there to win.

Despite that, it would suit Arsenal’s fixture list to have a result in this match, be it a win or loss for Arsenal, rather than a draw that would result in a replayed fixture. Even if that is at the Emirates, the added match would stretch this squad towards a tipping point, injury-wise. We’ll have to see what happens.

If it’s not obvious already, I expect a core of experience at the back flanked by Traore and Coquelin, with Fabianski deputising between the sticks. It’s a good opportunity for the Pole to put more pressure on Almunia – Lukasz has put in some confident performances when called upon and looks a different player since his famous blunders of last season.

I’m predicting a mobile midfield fowarded by a pacey front line – on paper, we pose a quick and raw threat, but our inexperience could cost us.

Annoyingly, I won’t be able to watch the game after ITV so kindly re-arranged the fixtures for television viewership. How ironic. An early-morning start at work means I cannot endure limiting my sleep to less than 2 hours for the Arsenal, which, poetically, means a wracked-with-nerves, tossing-and-turning effort for shut-eye. So half an hour more than the alternative.

Nevertheless, I trust the away support will give of their best as always and, with just that tiny bit of luck, Arsenal could still walk away from this match with progression in the cup secured. All one can do is support the side and bank on our side’s strengths.

More tomorrow – let’s just hope it’s not a draw!

You can follow TheSKAGooner on his twitter feed, @TheSKAGooner, as well as catch his comments on a number of Arsenal blogs.

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If you’ll kindly indulge me for a moment, I’d like to mention that the Kansas State men’s basketball team defeated the University of Texas basketball team last night 71-62. Big deal, right? Read on, fellow Gooners…

I graduated from Kansas State quite a while ago. I’m an equally fervent supporter of KState athletics as I am a diehard Gooner. Kansas State was ranked 10th in the nation going into last nights game. Texas was the number 1 ranked team in the country – and we beat them soundly.

It was an ugly game. Physical. A lot of ‘hack and slash’. One local reporter went so far as to say the game had “all the finesse of a tractor pull.” With Kansas being a very agricultural state here in the US, the analogy was appropriate.

But in that ugly game was a sense of beauty for a very young team in Kansas State coming against very large odds to beat the best team in the country. It was, as we like to call things here, a ‘lunch pail’ win. Not pretty, not flashy, but tough, gritty and full of heart.

If this sounds any bit familiar it’s because this season Arsenal are finally learning how to win the lunch pail games -and oh, what a beautiful thing that is.

In American football we often have commentators refer to a specific type of player as a “lunch pail guy.” He’s tough, he might not be the most athletic guy on the field, but he performs. He does the dirty work and his efforts are always critical to the team winning.

Arsenal play arguably the most beautiful football on the planet and certainly the most beautiful in the Premiership. We have Captain Fabulous, we have Eduardo, we have Arshavin, van Persie and Theo.

We have such a wealth of attacking options, when healthy, that it’s almost unfair.

Witness the pounding we put on Everton to open the season, the 3-0 drubbing we handed to the Sp*ds, the 6-2 embarrassment we shoved down the throats of Blackburn – when the engine is going, it’s beyond anything the rest of the football world can match.

But wither Theo? Wither van Persie? Bendtner, Rosicky and Cesc? Where are the players so integral to those monster scores and the 4-3-3 formation that had opened up our offense earlier this season? We’re still running that formation.

We’re still getting the goals, to the tune of leading the league in scoring and potentially on pace to break the century mark. How is this possible with so many pieces missing?

Something truly amazing is happening at The Arsenal this season and it should be very scary to the rest of the Premiership and opponents in the Champions League: Arsenal have become a lunch pail team.

None of our attackers – from Arshavin, Eduardo, Rosicky or Nasri – are playing their natural role. Yet the goals keep coming. When Almunia hoofs it the length of the pitch, Shava gets clattered endlessly up front. He never wins possession on those – but he steps in and does the dirty work. Eduardo has played out wide, which is fine when van Persie or Bendtner are in the middle to provide a target or draw attention from the defenders, allowing Eduardo to move freely into the box.

The full value of these offensive geniuses is not realized but neither Eduardo nor Arshavin have voiced a single complaint. Neither has made comments either publicly or whispered to a journo that they’re unhappy. There’s work to be done – lunch pail work that will yield no high praise from pundits and seemingly yields little praise from many an Arsenal supporter. It’s work the team needs, and it needs it from Eduardo and Arshavin, especially during the current injury hash.

Perhaps we don’t score in lots of 6 per match presently, but on the goals come nevertheless. But WHY do they come?

The 4-3-3 formation, with van Persie up front, Shava and Eduardo or Bendtner on the wing and a midfield of Cesc, Denilson and Song is perhaps the most dangerous lineup in England, perhaps Europe. But we’re fielding a patchwork formation, held together by athletic tape and Arsene Wenger’s prayers. But while our optimum lineup sees free-flowing football, the current line-up requires lunch pail work. It requires that the TEAM put in the effort, no matter where they are on the pitch or what position they’re asked to line up in.

It requires Arshavin to forgo goals and flashy assists in trade for getting battered about the pitch. It requires Cesc to grow into a goal scorer. It requires Diaby, Denilson, Craig Eastmond or whoever we can find, to fill in for Song. It requires Eduardo to take on wing duties that draw the full attention of defenders, instead of having a target man in the box to draw them off.

It requires lunch pail football.

Arsene Wenger, when interviewed for his 60th birthday, talked about being a manager and the difference between winning and losing. Winning, he said, was easy. It’s the easiest thing for a manager. Losing is harder. Playing free-flowing football, scoring 6 goals in a match is easy when you have all, or most of your optimum lineup. Winning 2-0 away to Bolton, when the team has to reach down, play a different brand of football and find goals from difficult circumstances, is hard.

Lunch pail football is hard. It’s not the norm for Arsenal. But the development to actually play lunch pail football might just be the key – the one aspect of growth for this team – that leads us to ending a 5 year trophy drought.

Three cheers for lunch pail football and the growth of The Arsenal.

Many have noted, including Le Grove and Myles Palmer, that Arsene Wenger missed training (imagine Tom Cruise missing a Scientology awards evening) the day before the Bolton match and conducted an earlier-than-usual press conference.

It coincides tastily alongside rumours of Arsenal signing Fulham defender Chris Smalling (their ‘other defender’) and whispers of signing striker extraordinaire, Eden Dzeko.

Smalling himself is a combatitive, pacy defender who could indeed be the replacement for William Gallas. But I hope that contract talks with the ex-captain are progressing, as I reckon he can still be star for the club for at least another year.

The Dzeko ‘whispers’ are nothing more than that, propagated by certain parties who’ve been wrong on these things before. But it’s simply worth mentioning because of the pants-wetting factor were it to be true. It has a snowball’s chance in hell of happening, but sometimes, you just never know.

Second string FA Cup line-up

With our good form in the league increasing the weight of the Premiership’s priority, it’s only natural that the FA Cup game this weekend is going to drop in Wenger’s estimations. This naturally has its critics, but it’s also something we just have to get used to.

Yes, we all love the FA Cup, as do the players, as does the manager. But we simply cannot risk injuring more players in an already-stretched line-up when ‘the big one’ – the league title – seems within our reach for the first time in two years.

Diaby and Sagna are already pencilled out of the fixture, and you can bet that not many of the midfield players will be risked either.

Ramsey and Merida would definitely have been given a chance, but injuries robbed them of that, while Rosicky will be kept on ice for Villa. Theo Walcott could get at least an appearance with the Czech’s absence.

But despite injuries potentially ‘robbing’ us of the Cup, there are a number of reasons to be positive. We will not be throwing lambs to the slaughter like we did at Man City in the League Cup. Arsenal will have plenty of experience to call upon in new signing Sol Campbell who – while not quite the player he was many years ago – won’t just wilt under Stoke’s bombardment. The big man should be well assisted by Mikael Silvestre and Armand Traore.

The deputising Fabianski will take confidence in that backline (with Coquelin possibly at RB), as will a young midfield including the likes of Eastmond, Wilshere and Emmanuel-Thomas.

Eastmond has had sporadic appearances in the first team, so should be versed enough to last at least 70 minutes, while Wilshere needs to spruce himself up as a loan target.

Jay Emmanuel Thomas offers the most interesting option and potentially Arsenal’s secret weapon with his industry, his strength and his utility.

So while you might decry Arsenal ‘throwing’ the cup again, it’s certainly better than ‘throwing’ the league by risking further injuries to first teamers.

And maybe, having said all that, our chances are still a lot better than people realise.

Arsenal showed a thrilling fillip of character to stage a mighty comeback and deny Bolton a shock win at the Emirates.

After going down criminally by two goals in 30 minutes, the Gunners fought back with a vengeance, laying waste to Bolton and ending top of the table.

Poor defending from Diaby, Rosicky and Clichy allowed Gary Cahill in to score on 7 minutes for Bolton, and while I was far from worried at that stage, a penalty on the half-hour was seriously ‘annoying’.

Almunia guessed the right way, but could only palm the ball on its way to goal. Two goals down and we had serious work to do.

I don’t know about you, but some grumpiness aside, I didn’t feel as worried as I should have been. Mark Davies, before he got banjaxed, was making all the right moves behind namesake Kevin, who in turn was giving our central defenders a torrid time.

Yet, just like our game against Standard Liege, you just knew that we could win this (and win it well) if we got that goal on the stroke of half time.

And that’s exactly what Rosicky did, with a magnificent finish at Jaaskelainen’s near post. The Czech was fed through in the centre of the park, darted towards goal and hit an early shot that decieved the keeper, and set the side up for a real assault on Bolton.

The rest of the game was a very open affair, and while it is better to shut a match down and make sure of a close result, something felt right that the way to beat Bolton was to encourage them opening up in attack.

Ironically, it was a nasty foul from Gallas that proved as much. The tackle itself will get all the headlines and Arsenal will be slammed – wrongly – for it, but Gallas caught Mark Davies badly in a 50:50 without any obvious intent to hurt the player.

Comparisons with Eduardo/Birmingham are well wide of the mark, but the referee said play on. Arsenal obliged, finding Fabregas in the box who weaved through players to equalise brilliantly.

Minutes later, Vermaelen popped up and reminded us of why we all love the guy, with a smashing round-house finish to put Arsenal in the lead.

The game carried on in its open manner, until Arshavin sealed the result – and Arsenal’s topping the table – with a neat finish in the box.

Almunia – 6.5: Could have saved the penalty, but getting a hand to one is an ask in itself. While his communication could be better, this wasn’t a bad performance by any means.
Sagna – 7: Caused trouble when Arsenal attacked, and generally didn’t seem too ill-at-ease in defence.
Gallas – 5.5: Yes, his tackle was a bad one, but it was far from intentional and came in a 50:50. Had a few good moments going forward, but throughout the match, came off worse for wear against Kevin Davies.
Vermaelen – 6.5: Extra points for a well-taken goal, but not his best performance defensively. Good to see him on the score sheet again; perhaps his next few goals will come in another purple patch.
Clichy – 6.5: Didn’t get forward as much as the Clichy of old, but battled hard for the ball and chased down lost causes. Should get better with more match practice.
Denilson – 5: Had a stinker of a first half but improved somewhat in the second. Missplaced passes and a bad tackle showed his rustiness.
Diaby – 7.5: An injury rumour is a new worry for Arsenal’s latest shining star. Is truly an essential midfielder for our side at the moment, and really came to the fore when Arsenal needed to rally after some defensive lapses.
Fabregas – 8.5: It’s miraculous someone so young can be so good. Found space regardless of Bolton’s closing-down and conducted affairs with a pernache Zidane would be proud of.
Rosicky – 7.5: Super goal to spark the revival, the Czech busied himself about the place and made a nuisance of himself for much of the match.
Arshavin – 8: Again, quiet at first, but it was telling how much busier he was when Arsenal got their act together. Lethal down the left wing, he tore the rightback to shreds and scored the goal that sent us top. Put in some good defensive work, too.
Eduardo – 6.5: Missed some sitters, but people are forgetting the immense job he’s done in the assist department. If you can’t score ‘em, provide them. He’s done that well enough.
SUBS – Eastmond – 6: Didn’t see too much of the ball in his short time on the pitch.
Vela – 6: Demonstrated his pace late on and beat his man on a bunch of breaks.
Walcott – 6: Only had injury time to put himself about, but even then was dangerous on the break. Berated Arshavin for not feeding him for a juicy chance for a fifth goal.

A game to be enjoyed for so many reasons, but let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first – our defensive effort was less than satisfactory tonight, and not just from the backline. Diaby and Rosicky had a job to do in defence as well as attack, and Denilson, on his return, didn’t cover himself in glory either.

Unrest became apparent in the Emirates crowd when two goals down, but after so many comebacks this season (Liege, West Ham, now Bolton), it’s time to show a bit more belief in this side. The character they demonstrated despite some adversity from their own fans, and the results it produces, could be seriously augmented by more ‘come on, lads!’ and less ‘oh f—ing hell’s.

But more to the real bane of our existence – Bolton, their ogreish side, their sheer hypocrisy and overreactive manager.

No Mr Coyle, Gallas’ tackle was not ‘akin to assault.’ No, it was not intentional, and the fact that commentators would not shut up about it was just infuriating. Remember the way they practically let off a certain Englishman after a certain tackle on a certain Eduardo?

It was a 50:50 tackle. Both went in hard, one came off badly. Reverse the roles, and it would be Bolton praised for ‘getting in the faces of Arsenal’.

All their whinging, their moaning, and even a whiff of tears at the merest hint of physical resistance from “they don’t like it up ‘em” Arsenal, just reeks of weakness that would make toddlers blush. It’s telling that no-one in the media recalls some Bolton thug trampling on Cesc’s neck with his knee not four days ago.

Despite all that, we simply cannot win in this argument, so that’s about as much as one can try. Who cares. “Everybody hates us, and we don’t effing care.”

Anyways, this was a performance befitting a team top of the table. It’s perhaps too much to get carried away by that when we’re still months away from May, but it is a psychological boost for this young side with so much to prove.

The real test now is Satan’s Upcoming Attractions, aka, Villa away, United at home, Chelsea away, Liverpool at home. Come through that, and boys will seem as men.